This mansion is falling apart superbly.
I aid this, slightly. Like a rot.
Knocking out banisters and chandeliers.
I've always been at my best at "falls apart".
Oh, I found what the termites hid.
These incredible acts of kindness
Will restore your faith in humanity.
Or not. Simmer down and pucker up.
I accidentally impregnated a unicorn
While fixing my tie in the mirror,
And that was fine enough.
I only need--Pow! Bam!
Watch out! I'm moving fast!
I'm heading for Ireland and it doesn't look pretty.
Careful Spain, I'm going to steal all your women.
Warn Big Ben,
Place armed guards outside the Louvre,
Tell Sicily to hide her grandest daughter,
I'll put Prague in my pocket if you let me!
Someone grab my shoes and tell the butler he's fired.
You there! Stop gawking and help me with this cape.
And in all seriousness,
I won't be reasoned with.
Nathan Woods, editor/overlord